i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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