You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
