did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You should frame my arrest warrant.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
