I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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