You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
