im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
