I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
