She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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