Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
