Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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