wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
