All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
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