Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
