I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
