i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
