He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
