when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
