What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Randomize
