Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
