I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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