he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
