watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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