You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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