She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
