I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The Olympian is in my bed
A bitchslap is in order.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
