Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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