would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
