yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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