Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you never un-have a 4some
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
