Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
