Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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