last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
