i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
