I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize