I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
