Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
