after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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