went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
