The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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