k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Even my vagina gasped.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
