Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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