I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
