People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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