smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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