We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
meet me or not, i'm out of control
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
