this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
