Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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