i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
