he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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