doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
its not stalking. its research.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
