I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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