So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
do nipples grow back?
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