I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
