did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it's like iHOP with fire
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
