i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
