for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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