the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
