the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
