turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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