Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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