Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
