WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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